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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29813307">between the shadow and the soul</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeserai/pseuds/jeserai'>jeserai</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:00:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29813307</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeserai/pseuds/jeserai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This part of magic is easy. Catra’s always been good at the push and pull, at borrowing nature’s magic and bringing it into herself, at giving the magic back to the air and earth around her. With her eyes closed, the only indication that the spell is working is the slow and steady swelling of the wind and the almost overwhelming sizzle of magic coursing all around and through her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>between the shadow and the soul</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The woods are cold and unforgiving this late at night, and Catra has slipped more than once in the thick, deep snow, but she does not dare use a torch or her magic to light her path, dim as it would be. A distant caw in the far off distance breaks the stillness of the night and Catra freezes as if locked in place by Weaver’s magic. When she is sure that it had just been an innocent bird’s call and not Weaver’s familiar, she continues down the path, trying to keep all thoughts of regret and unease at bay. She’s planned this out, memorized the proper spells and circles, timed everything down to the cycle of the moon and the tides—this </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>work. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>must. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And if it does not, then she will die, either by her own hand, Weaver’s magic, or the Council’s merciless punishment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another wave of panic threatens to overwhelm her and Catra pauses again, her trembling fingers fumbling for the cord wrapped around her neck. The rough aquamarine stone is a familiar, soothing weight and Catra clutches at the crystal hard enough that her palm stings. The sudden bite of pain and the crystal’s calming energy bring her back down to lucidity and Catra breathes out a long, steady sigh as her grip gradually loosens.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catra takes another deep breath and continues on her path until she reaches the banks of the Northern river. She’d chosen this for her summoning site not only for how far removed it is from her coven, but for the calming, grounded properties of the North. Catra settles at the bank of the river, bringing out her knife and quickly cutting into her palm. She’s always hated this part of magic, the pain that circle-drawing brings, and she gets it over with as quickly as she can, drawing the circle over the snow and then settling down in the center of it. The cold snow quickly seeps through her robes but Catra tries her best to ignore the cold as she focuses on slowing her breathing. Once she is calm, Catra murmurs the now familiar spell under her breath, pulling the magic from the center of her body and letting it flow out into the circle around her.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This </span>
  </em>
  <span>part of magic is easy. Catra’s always been good at the push and pull, at borrowing nature’s magic and bringing it into herself, at giving the magic back to the air and earth around her. With her eyes closed, the only indication that the spell is working is the slow and steady swelling of the wind and the almost overwhelming sizzle of magic coursing all around and through her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then. The wind begins to pick up, much more than it should, and a wave of rage washes over her again as Catra remembers why she’s doing this, why she’s risking her life on every level. And if—</span>
  <em>
    <span>when</span>
  </em>
  <span>—Weaver finds out, she’ll have Catra’s head, and the scars on her back will be opened anew as that awful magic burns her up from the inside, and the air around her is choked with the all too familiar stench of smoke and burning flesh, and now the anger has given way to panic because this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>what was supposed to happen, and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hello,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” an unfamiliar voice practically purrs. When Catra opens her eyes, she has to fight not to recoil in shock at the sight of the river on fire, of the demon standing trapped in the smaller circle. The demon stares back, a delighted smile spreading across their lips as they size her up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not going to say anything? Well, I suppose I’ll just have to introduce myself first, then. Call me DT, darling.” As Catra watches, struck dumb, the demon shifts into a form that mirrors her own but for their slit eyes and sharp, sharp teeth. “Well? What do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What does she </span>
  <em>
    <span>think? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Catra doesn’t even have to cast her magic out to know that the demon—DT—is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>the demon she needs. They are powerful, yes, but they do not have the kind of power that she needs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want </span>
  <em>
    <span>you,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Catra spits out, but the demon—DT—just laughs, cocking a hip as they stare her down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, but you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do, </span>
  </em>
  <span>don’t you? All that anger, all that </span>
  <em>
    <span>rage...</span>
  </em>
  <span>you just want to destroy everything, don’t you? Burn it up and ruin everyone that’s ever hurt you? I could do that, you know. I could be anything you want, kitten. I could be your vengeful flame, set the whole world ablaze, just say the word.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And...maybe. There is raw, untouched </span>
  <em>
    <span>chaos </span>
  </em>
  <span>simmering just beneath their skin, chaos that she could siphon from them and use so very easily. And they are right: she </span>
  <em>
    <span>does </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to bring everything to the ground. She wants so very badly to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>vicious, </span>
  </em>
  <span>to let all of her rage and pain out in one remorseless blaze, and the harsh curve of their lips in a predatory imitation of a smile leaves no doubt in Catra’s mind that DT would do it without a moment of hesitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that’s not what she wants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to be the one to do it, not you—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And now what, you’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>banish </span>
  </em>
  <span>me? Go back to your little coven, empty-handed, this whole trip for naught? Whatever will they do to you when they find out, kitten?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catra presses her lips together to keep from rising to the demon’s bait, instead bringing out the tiny pouch of herbs she’ll use to close the circle and cleanse the area. “Goodbye,” is all she says, her voice flat and emotionless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before they disappear as Catra closes the circle, the demon winks at her, and Catra can almost swear that they mouth the words, “See you soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then they are gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first few signs that something is wrong are subtle. Catra has always been a light sleeper, prone to waking at the slightest sounds in fear of the other witches trying something, but now she sleeps through the night, only waking when the sunlight streams through the window. Her magic is a little bit </span>
  <em>
    <span>off </span>
  </em>
  <span>now too, flaring out and burning bright during their daily lessons. If Shadow Weaver suspects anything, she does not show it, but Catra feels her eyes on her back even more than usual. The other witches seem to sense that something is different too, but no one can name just what it is, and since Shadow Weaver does not do anything, they don’t either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only time the other witches tolerate her is when they sneak out of the Fright Zone. The manor is protected by Shadow Weaver’s wards, but Catra’s always been good at getting around wards and barriers, so there is a sort of unspoken agreement that she will take down Shadow Weaver’s wards long enough for everyone to get out, and they will not harm her in any way for...at least a while. If they are caught, Catra will take all of the blame and all of the punishment, but so far, she’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>been caught.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not really a fair arrangement, but it gets the others off her back for a while, so Catra tells herself that she doesn’t really mind. In the Fright Zone, the weakest are made prey, and that has been Catra for as long as she can remember. Even </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kyle </span>
  </em>
  <span>is above her in the bullshit rankings, and he can barely even do the most simple of spells. But no, because Catra is a halfling, she has been branded the weakest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So yeah, maybe it had been nice, summoning DT. Maybe it’s nice having a little secret of her own. Maybe it’s nice knowing that the others depend on her to get them all out for a few precious hours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catra doesn’t know where her coven members go, and honestly, she doesn’t care, but as they file one by one through her portal, she realizes with a start that tonight, it was almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>easy. Catra’s long since learned how to balance her magic between creating a portal on this side, another on the outside of the manor, and lifting wards just enough to remain undetected, but Weaver’s are </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard, </span>
  </em>
  <span>even after years of practice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But not today. Today, it is as easy as breathing, and as she steps into the portal and comes out at the edge of the woods separating the town from the manor, Catra wonders for a moment just where all of this extra magic is coming from.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But only for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tonight, she has nothing pressing to do, so she wanders the streets of lower Bright Moon, almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>hoping </span>
  </em>
  <span>to find something or someone to terrorize. This late at night, most of the town is empty and dark but for a few candle lit lamp posts lining the main road, and despite knowing that Shadow Weaver’s reach does not extend to the shadows of the town, Catra still glares at the closest flickering lamp as if it is personally responsible for the shadows that live in the Fright Zone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then, as she casts her gaze around, she sees the girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s leaning against a lamppost further up the block, clearly waiting for someone, her face cast in gentle shadows. She doesn’t look up as Catra approaches, but she does cast a quick glance over when Catra stops in front of her. The blonde gives her a polite smile, but the smile freezes on her face the longer she stares.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Catra asks—snarls, really.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl flinches and then takes a step back, shaking her head, shock written all over her face. It is only then that Catra notices the ugly scar on the girl’s cheek. It is an ugly, twisted thing, like the girl’s face had been clawed open by some kind of beast, but somehow, it does nothing to tarnish her beauty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You—it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>you, </span>
  </em>
  <span>wasn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time it’s Catra that flinches, though she quickly masks her expression and shakes her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you must have the wrong—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>play dumb, I can see the demon's mark all over you. So answer me: why did you do it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catra grimaces and abandons all thoughts of erasing the girl's mind as her eyes burn electric blue with magic. Even if this girl were forced to forget her, she'd still be able to see whatever mark is supposedly on her, and as tempting as the idea is, Catra is still bound by the old laws not to harm this girl or her kind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"First time I've seen a Seer before," Catra finally drawls, "can't say that I'm very impressed."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's my first time seeing a halfling," the girl counters, and then, "and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am </span>
  </em>
  <span>impressed. Impressed and astounded at how </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid </span>
  </em>
  <span>you are—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Careful, blondie. I don’t have the best temper even on a good day. And this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>a good day for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl just heaves out a long sigh and then raises both hands as if in surrender. “Listen, I didn’t mean to start anything, I was just startled by your aura. We’d known it was a powerful demon, but to think it took so </span>
  <em>
    <span>much </span>
  </em>
  <span>from you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And— “What do you mean, that they </span>
  <em>
    <span>took </span>
  </em>
  <span>from me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl looks just as troubled as Catra now feels as she stares at her, and though her eyes do not burn with magic, Catra still feels as if the girl is looking </span>
  <em>
    <span>through </span>
  </em>
  <span>her, perhaps seeing all the way through to her soul. “That demon, it’s taking your life away. And a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot </span>
  </em>
  <span>of it, too. I hope whatever your agreement was, it was worth it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catra remembers then, the playful wink and the knowing grin that’d slid onto the skewed reflection of her own face just before DT disappeared. They </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>this would happen, and that somehow, sooner or later, Catra would find out. She’d played right into their hands, for better or for worse, and now, the only thing she can do is summon them again and demand back what they stole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft touch to her shoulder makes Catra flinch away, and when she looks up, she finds the girl staring at her, concern flooding her features. “Are you okay? I—my team and I, we can help you if—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>need your help, blondie. I’ll handle it on my own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t doubt that,” the girl laughs, “but still, if you...if you’d like some backup, my friends and I, we’re—we’ve dealt with this kind of stuff before, and I’d say we’ve gotten pretty good at it too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Catra brushes the girl’s hand from her shoulder and spins away, turning back only to say, "And </span>
  <em>
    <span>don't </span>
  </em>
  <span>follow me. I'll hex you to hell and back, the old laws be damned."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can I at least get your name?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catra huffs under her breath and turns away again, deciding to blame her honest answer on the bright blue eyes that are now burning into her back. "Catra."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl does not respond.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>twt: <a href="https://Twitter.com/jeserai_">jeserai_</a> | <a href="https://Twitter.com/dearpromise_">dearpromise_</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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